Family squabbles screech to a halt when visitors drop in. The human species family needs to do the same — in case of guests who may pay an unexpected call to home-planet Earth. Let’s get our act together ASAP. Wednesday, May 16 is Wear Purple for Peace Day, “a day to promote peace between us and any space aliens” who may be visiting. (Yes, a real deal, according to Cute Calendar.)
We have two days to get ready. I propose that we push peace-promoting Jeremy Corbyn forward, in order to cement a great first impression. In case they land here first, New York City can screen his magnificent speech in Times Square. Err… the truth is, the US would like to borrow Corbyn from the UK during the aliens’ stay. Spacies may not notice the subtle difference between “K” and “S.” We can pretend to be the same country. Yes? (Hopefully, Big Boy will be “out” by the time they arrive.)
Another thing families do when they spot surprise visitors pull into the drive, is quickly clean house. This will be challenging, as we have allowed Earth to get quite shabby. For a quick fix, let’s cut the usual power source. Everything looks better in natural sunlight, anyway.
It takes a bright green planet to best set off beautiful shades of peaceful purple.
In case conversation lags, which often happens when there’s an elephant in the room, we’ll have our Paris postcard collection handy to entertain our new friends. If they actually ask about Earth’s receding polar caps (wouldn’t that be rude), we can at least show them pictures of everything we plan on doing to get climate change under control.
Oh, heck. We need to pick their brains for ideas.
Who really knows if space aliens hover about us? But surely it’s wise to be prepared for unexpected visitors. So, to avoid looking uncouth to the rest of the galaxy, here’s the game plan: 1) Keep home base tidy, green, and clean. 2) Stop the incessant quarreling; we want outsiders to see a functional, thriving family. 3) Remember to wear your best purple attire this Wednesday, May 16th, to support inter-galactic peace… just in case we get company.
Uh-oh… wait… what if space aliens are purple-people-eaters?
Imagine galactic peace.