Will the Real Warnock Beagle Please Step Up?

Nobody knows the name of the Warnock Beagle dog, even though he or she was featured in Sen. Raphael Warnock’s two best campaign ads. (See below.) This leads us to surmise that the good Beagle… is an actor. And that Reverend Warnock doesn’t have a single friend of his own!

The Beagle was the deciding factor that won Warnock the 2021 Georgia U.S. Senate race. But there remains the other problem. As former President Harry S. Truman once said, everyone needs a true friend in Washington D.C.

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.

~ Harry S. Truman

What can we Dogs of America do to make Sen. Warnock’s new career a success? We must find him friends of his own!

If any good Beagles out there can leave home for awhile, please donate your devotion to Senator Warnock for the duration of his term, only 42 dog years. The Senator is a good guy. He likes “puppies.” He pastored the very same church as Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. — and we know that MLK really liked dogs! (All Revs like dogs. We aren’t called “Angels from Heaven” for nothing.) The Senator is also anti-corruption and pro-racial-justice. Though he isn’t politically progressive, Warnock IS one of the Decent Democrats.

In return, Warnock’s Senate Beagles will be repaid with showers of love and all-American treats — including the chance to bite the corpulent buttocks of corrupt corporate lobbyists and the fleshy flanks of far-right fascists (who are, even now, plotting further insurrection against the United States).

There can never be too many good dogs in Washington D.C. And Sen. Warnock needs a whole pack of friends. Supremely white terrorists, like the ones who bleached the Capitol on January 6th, are mean to black people. Therefore, all able-bodied Beagles, please volunteer to be a Warnock Beagle!

Uncle Sam needs a Battalion of Beagles to befriend Senator Warnock right now. Woof!

Will the Real Warnock Beagle Please Step Up? 1
An able-bodied candidate for the Warnock Beagle Brigade.

Warnock Beagle Puppy Ads

Check out the “puppy” campaign ads that won Sen. Warnock’s race for U.S. Senate — and possibly saved the country. (The Democratic Party once again controls the U.S. Senate.)

“I Love Puppies” – Warnock for US Senate puppy campaign ad 1.
“Poop In the Trash” – Warnock for US Senate puppy campaign ad 2.

~ Chester reports on Canine News & Views

P.S. Bernie Sanders doesn’t have a dog, either. I know. But he’s busier than anyone else in D.C. He honestly doesn’t have time to walk a dog. I suspect he strokes a cat, once in a while; Bernie is compassionate to all. Feathered friends keep Bernie company when he’s working all over the country. (They can fly to keep up!)


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